I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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