so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
last night I used snow as a chaser
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
