so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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