I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
