Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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