We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
