Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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