that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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