She is in my trunk
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
