please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
