can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
