we have pet lesbian snakes
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize