The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
