You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
