even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize