i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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