all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize