What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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