please come you make the beer taste better
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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