I just cut my nipple shaving
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
