So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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