I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
