3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
