Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dicks are not precious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
