I got chris browned last night
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
