if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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