I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
