I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
