Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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