Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
