I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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