MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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