Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
