This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
