I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
