so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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