we have officially lost it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
