come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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