You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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