Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
