The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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