I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
