didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
