All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
