I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
