Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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