soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
