No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
