Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
