My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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