If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
