I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
