I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
