U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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