went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
