Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
