Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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