this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize